Why Toxic People Are Phenomenal Teachers

Negative people. Debbie Downers, Bitter Bettys, and Harry Hellbents.

You know the ones.

The people who are always complaining, bitching, and gossiping. Those who only see the bad in life and focus on the negative.

They drain the energy out of life and always leave people feeling down, and unfortunately, society is overrun with them.

Why does this matter?

If you desire to be a winner and a champion, you have to surround yourself with greatness. Not people like this.

Now, it’s easy to say, “Just don’t hang out with those people! Cut them out!”

But what if it’s your family? Not so easy.

Considering the holidays are coming up, and many of us will be seeing some relatives who may be toxic, it’s important to anticipate this behavior and change our perspective toward the situation.

It’s not just another crazy family get-together where you nod with a fake smile and down another drink to get by. No. Instead, it’s an opportunity to learn and grow if you see it as such and utilize the moment properly.

What Crowd Do You Run With?

Champions are influenced by their mindset, behaviors, habits, and their teammates.

Everything, everything that a champion does is to move forward to win. To become better, to progress, and to level up. You may not be an athlete, but that doesn’t mean you can’t adopt a champion mindset.

What’s your mindset like? What are your habits and behaviors? Most importantly, who have you surrounded yourself with?

Remember this reminder: You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

Whatever crowd you are in and choose to run with, you will soak up their energy. You will be influenced by their mindset, habits, and behaviors. After all, emotions are contagious.

After you spend enough time with your “five,” your subconscious mind starts to accept their behavior, and you begin thinking, acting, being, and living like those around you.

If you’re around five smokers, you’ll be the sixth.
If you’re around millionaires, you’ll become more money-conscious.
If you’re around toxicity, you’ll get poisoned.

Champion athletes are obsessed with who their coaches and trainers are because these people ultimately impact their mindset the most.

Research has shown the effects of family conflict on mental health and well-being. The psychological and emotional effects can have a damaging impact.

So you must tread carefully.

Ultimately, the people around you will — in some way, shape, or form — affect your performance, quality of life, and happiness.

The Best Teachers

That being said, how do we deal with these negative people? Especially if they’re family?

Research shows that Americans can tolerate less than four hours with family on holidays.

We have to change our perspective of the situation and see it as a temporary opportunity for growth.

These people are the best teachers.

How so? They show us how we should never be.

Negative people show us what might become of us if we choose to allow the forces of negativity to take over. They also show us our potential for what we will become if we aren’t conscious of our thoughts, feelings, words, and actions.

Take note of these people — and their behaviors — and commit to studying them and learning.

Then, make a vow never to live as they do.

Although…

What if BEING toxic could actually make you more money?

Don’t Do This (But Learn From It)

You’ve got to wonder, “Why are so many bosses, CEOs, and world leaders so damn toxic?

Why do the most powerful men and women also exhibit the most narcissism, passive aggressive behavior, and criticism?

Because apparently it gets things done.

I don’t know if you’ve ever seen the movie Whiplash, but it’s an amazing film where a college band director is SO toxic that it actually scares the students into becoming the greatest musicians they can be.

According to Ronald Riggio, a professor of leadership and organizational psychology at Claremont McKenna College, narcissistic and unfit leaders often gain admirers and power because strength and confidence are sometimes confused with arrogance and narcissism.

Sound familiar to anyone you know?

Reminds me of Plankton from Spongebob in the Bubble Bowl episode. Squidward says “people talk loud when they want to sound smart, right?”

To which Plankton replies with a boisterous “YES” as he cups his hands around his mouth to yell even louder.

And unfortunately many people simply fall in line to this behavior due to something called cognitive laziness.

Weaker people who’s brains have basically turned to jelly from being inundated with the constant day to day stress of a crappy job simply don’t have the mental energy to question toxic leaders.

And unfortunately most people fall under this category, making it easier for toxic leaders to ascend to power.

The BMM Takeaway

These people, while they are energy drainers, are so valuable because they show us who we never want to become. They give us context for saying, “I don’t want to be like that.”

When you know what you don’t want, you know what you do want.

These toxic people clarify the type of person we want to be: the opposite.

But we can learn from this traits and find what makes us stronger leaders without being toxic.

You can be authoritative, and you can be critical, but be constructive and helpful at the same time. That’s a true leader, and what real champions do.