The Art Of Persuasion: How To Make People Do What You Want

There’s a fine line between persuasion and manipulation.

Persuasion uses similar psychological techniques as manipulation, however I define manipulation as preying on another person’s insecurities in order to make them do something for your own selfish gain.

Persuasion, on the other hand, means mastering the art of communication in order to be able to convince people to see the truth, the error in their ways, or a new perspective.

In other words, manipulation is like the dark side of the force used by the Sith, and persuasion is the light side used by the Jedi.

That being said, I don’t like to manipulate people nor would I ever teach how to do it, but persuasion is something I think everyone should know how to do.

Persuasion will help you excel at job interviews, command a higher salary, sell things to people for a lot of money, improve your relationships, improve your public speaking, prevent fist fights, and more.

Heres are some top tier persuasion techniques you can try, as well as 1 secret trick you can use to make someone like you:

Ethical Persuasion Techniques

These are some techniques you can use to get ahead in life without hurting anyone else in the process.

Try some of these out at your next big job interview, in your relationship, or if you need to resolve a conflict.

Reciprocity

Reciprocity is the concept of doing something for someone in hopes that they’ll reciprocate or, return the favor, later on.

In some cases it can be as simple as a typical tit-for-tat situation like “I took out the garbage now you do the dishes”, but true masters of reciprocity focus on developing and implanting a lasting mental image of their good character into others’ perception of them.

Try doing little things here and there to create an image that you’re constantly helping someone, therefor making them feel obligated to help you if something should ever come up where you need assistance or a favor.

Reciprocity can be applied to a very wide range of situations, from business all the way to personal relationships.

In a business scenario, you’ll see e-commerce companies offering free PDF guides, recipes, templates, courses, reports, and other digital goods as a “freebie” incentive for people to sign up to an email list.

And in a relationship, when one person does something kind for the other, it often creates a subconscious desire for the recipient to reciprocate. This can be as simple as one partner making dinner, prompting the other to take on another household task in return.

One notable study demonstrating the power of reciprocity is the "Coca-cola" experiment by Dennis Regan, published in 1971.

In this study, participants were more inclined to buy raffle tickets from an individual named Joe, who was actually Regan's assistant, if Joe had previously given them a soda.

The fascinating aspect of this study was that participants bought twice as many tickets in the scenario where Joe provided a soda compared to when he did not, regardless of whether they liked Joe or not.

The Magic Word: Their First Name

The easiest way to persuade some is to first get them to like you.

Once someone likes you, it becomes significantly easier to get them to help you with things, reveal secrets to you, and take your side on issues.

One of the best tricks to make someone like you? Use their first name.

(Just not too much, then it gets a little creepy.)

Dale Carnegie, author of How To Win Friends And Influence People, famously stated, “A person’s name is to him or her the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” 

When in conversation with someone, try to drop their first name a couple times. This is also great when you meet someone new not only to help remember their name, but also to communicate that you care about remembering it.

Persuasive…Rizz?

Of course we’ve got to cover how to effectively use persuasion when asking women out. But what’s the best persuasive technique to get a girl’s number?

Well, the secret actually involves her friends.

9 times out of 10 when you see a cute girl, she’s probably surrounded by a group of her girlfriends basically acting like a human fuckboy shield.

But if you’ve ever seen the movie A Beautiful Mind starring Russell Crowe, you’ll know there’s a way past this unforgiving test.

Even though it’s just a movie (albeit a true story), what John Nash ends up doing in order to get the blonde girl he likes to talk to him could actually work.

By talking to her friends instead of the girl he was interested in, he supposedly made the girl feel jealous that she was the only one not being paid attention to.

A bit presumptuous and egotistical in my opinion, but it ended up working for him. Then again, that’s Hollywood.

The REAL reason why you want to talk to her friends is to befriend them first, because the girl you’re interested in will most likely look to her peers before creating her own opinions. This is called “social proof”.

If you can find a relatable topic and get in close with her friend group, the girl you want to talk to will likely have a much higher interest in talking to you than if you had no social proof at all.

The Secret Persuasion Skill Of Mirroring

Maybe you don’t even notice it happening. But there’s a pretty low key secret that masters of persuasion know to use when they want to subconsciously get on someone’s good side.

It’s called Mirroring, or linguistic mirroring. It’s when you copy a person’s movements, speech, and actions in an effort to behave more like them. Doing so can actually subconsciously get them to like you more, thus helping you persuade them.

The real way to do it is to copy the person’s style of communication, not just the way they’re sitting, for example.

If someone is using their hands a lot and laughing when they speak, you should also use your hands a lot and laugh. Try this out the next time you’re talking to someone and see what happens as a result.

The BMM Takeaway

Again, there’s a fine line between manipulation and persuasion, but as long as your intentions are good you have nothing to worry about. We all use persuasion every single day, some of us are just better at it than others.

Try a few of these techniques out at your next job interview or when you’re asking someone out on a date. And as a last bit of advice, add a smile to everything you do. Just by smiling you automatically appear more trustworthy and inviting for conversations.