Happiness Is Not A Goal. It's An Emotion

Too many people view happiness as a goal, like it’s something they’re constantly chasing but can’t really reach. But if you live that way, you’ll find yourself ALWAYS chasing happiness without ever succeeding.

Instead, think of it this way.

Happiness isn’t some destination you’re trying to get to, it's more like those highs you feel in a killer workout – intense but temporary.

Through the struggles of my own messed up life, I've realized happiness isn't a constant. It's part of the journey, not the endpoint. And after I realized that, I found myself achieving all of my goals without really trying.

Temporary VS. Long Term Happiness

This perspective shift will blow your mind.

Imagine there are 2 types of happiness; temporary happiness and lasting happiness.

Drinking, smoking, having sex, that’s all temporary happiness.

But long term happiness is exactly what it sounds like; being genuinely happy in the long run.

And there’s a formula for this.

Happiness = Gratitude + Discipline

It’s a simple 2 part combination really.

Start with gratitude. By looking at the glass half full, being grateful for all that you have, and seeing life as an opportunity rather than a challenge, you’ll stop chasing the “next thing” that will supposedly make you happy.

Once you develop gratitude, you’ll finally stop saying, “Oh, I’ll be happy as soon as I finally move into a new house” or “I just need to get one more promotion before I can be happy”.

You’ll begin to develop mindfulness, observing all good you have around you. Mindfulness meditation can even make time move perceivably slower according to some people.

2nd part is discipline. This is the part of the equation that separates the men from the boys. And it’s the strongest driver for long term happiness I know.

Discipline goes beyond just achieving short-term gains. It lays the foundation for long-term happiness and fulfillment.

By adhering to a set of self-imposed rules, we cultivate a sense of self-control and resilience. There are even findings that link a greater degree of self control to better relationships and improved grades.

And because being disciplined involves day in and day out hard word and consistency, the reward of your efforts is simply so much greater than any temporary happiness could ever bring you.

When you look in the mirror and notice an entire YEAR’s worth of blood, sweat, and tears put into building your body, that’s happiness you can feel every single day.

When you have money flowing into your checking account month over month because you stayed disciplined and put the work in to learn how to build a business, that’s long term happiness too.

Success vs. Happiness

The key principle that ties the entire formula together though is this; the difference between success and happiness.

Most of the people I talk to seem to think they’re exactly the same thing. Or they’ll think “to get happiness, first I need success”.

And by thinking that way, you’re back to treating happiness as a goal.

But happiness isn’t a goal, it’s an emotion. Something you CAN feel right now. Instead, make success your goal.

Stoicism and Logical Decision Making

Stoicism, a philosophy rooted in ancient wisdom, is just like a rigorous mental training program.

It’s like a tool you can use to sharpen your mind even more, and it’ll help you get rid of any emotion or belief that clouds your judgement or hinders your progress.

It’s believed that most men are more logical thinkers, and so stoicism comes a bit easier to us. By thinking logically and weighing every asset you have at your disposal rather than focusing on every problem in your life, you can achieve gratitude easier.

And once you have gratitude, all you need is discipline to complete the happiness formula. So think of stoicism as a little cheat code to keep you calm and collected.

The BMM Takeaway

Stop treating happiness as some goal you can never reach. It’s an emotion, and you can feel it right now with a little perspective shift. Stop chasing it, and instead chase success.

And remember, the formula for long term happiness is simple.

Gratitude + discipline = long term happiness.

Be grateful for all you have, and most of all build discipline. Discipline will bring you the long term health, wealth, and happiness. Just remember not to go too hard on yourself working towards success, because burnout is a real problem you can encounter too.

A good place to start is by setting some mini goals. Setting mini goals is a great way to generate small wins to build some momentum. And if you want to increase your odds of completing your goals by 42%, try writing them down.